Mind Control

How will things play out under these conditions?
What will I do next without permission?
Space and time won't save me, what I got
one dirty rig and a stem in my pot.
And I can't help how I feel; powerless, subjective
These thoughts are so invasive
Don't quiet feel protected
Still I'm old enough to know my right from wrong
I knew this would end badly, I knew it all along
And I'm the only one being punished for the secrets that I keep
My minds a dangerous place, It never seems to sleep
Why do we work hard for things that make us feel so cheap?
I wanna see the light but perhaps my grave is just too deep
I am wanted, always wanted.
By what some call Evil Forces
But all who died in Jesus' "rapture"
Did not come back as white horses
We all have different standards as to what we call an end
We all just want an answer, wanna descend
So Jesus, what did you do on those 3 days you were dead?
Cos I do believe this problem will last longer than the weekend.
I have reason to believe that this decisions healthy
But unfortunately, It's left up to me.
Ultimately you're your worst enemy.
But right now I just gotta believe.
Anything could kill me, just let me get what I need
What I need? A reason to bleed
I've got debts to pay and veins to feed
What I need, It's just what I need.
I'm aware of the highs and the lows.
But in the end, I got no control.